And Then Came Life
Based on a True Story


There comes a season in life when you glance at the days behind you and realize (life choices) are now a forever reality-perhaps a part of ones history but always there. Life is more than one- “once upon a time”. Once upon a time can become your forever and again.
  The final end to our choices, and the end of life’s potential; are by way of death. Death is the final determiner of lifes potential. Graveyards are filled with dead potential.
   Why then, is there such wastefulness among the living?
The trappings of earthly sensuality can prove to be our greatest distraction from eternal matters.
YOUR INDIVIDUAL POTENTIAL is the God given gift imparted to us at the time of conception–We are known to God before we are created even in the womb.
  Today,tomorrow and the next day can be our new beginning–the new start–the fresh hope yesterday may seem to HAVE destroyed.
If only we would choose eternal values and walk in the shadow oF heavens hope–named Jesus. 
  Your and My potential has barley been tapped into–and I really think worldly distractions are a primary enemy.
   This is the defining differance of being a Holy Spirit led people or being bound to feelings, emotions, and worldy values.
I choose Jesus words and His provision–
  Christ is our –one more time- one more day–discover lifes potential within everyday from event to event–what a ride! What a life! Faith in Christ is a faithful path of endless hope.
  The best thing of all is that eternal life begins at the time when Christ fills your heart–each heartbeat thereafter is another opening to potential through faith. Faith in His promises. Jesus never lies..Jesus is the Father of truth.

When seeking Him before myself, I find myself with potential abundant.



bathrooms and their public usage seem to be the latest battle ground where once again we search for answers to who we are as a society and a people of rights and freedoms. the bottom line is this— In whom do you or I identify? do we perceive our sexual orientation through eyes of a female or male? Do we perceive our existence outside of what our bodies actually physical function is from birth? do we ALL accept our inner whims and desires and assimilate to any form or gender becoming the ultimate person we wish truly are to be? maddening–yet it seems biblical when one understands that Bible once again has foretold that in the end of times men would exchange the truth for a lie and/ that what seems right would actually be wrong–but enough preaching and teaching..
I re-call many adventures in bathrooms and bath houses per-say–during these dark times in my search for significance I re-call playing many roles and leading or following others into fantasy roles behind the doors of bathrooms–etc> yes it is ugly but I can not change the truth as this was a part of my past–thank god it is the past I speak of..
at any rate– In whom we identify is where we all get our start and find our end– at the end of our lives journey we will leave behind a legacy–It is my tireless goal to follow christ and His teachings regardless of the trials and or ups and downs–what I know is this– I have succeeded at becoming in his image to the degree that the Old man is long gone and it is now thirty years strong since being in the dark corners of alternative lifestyle choices. Whatever you believe–I can tell you– to follow the Words of Christ is –to live and not die– I have overcome many obstacles and challenges along the way–never has there been a time when I wished to return from where I have come.
sometimes I get fearful–yet I am reminded that In Him there ois greater strength and I can deny what my flesh may cry for–and can reach out for His arms and know a greater inner strength and see another day of happiness wholeness and Joy without wondering which bathroom I might want to be using today or tomorrow. confusion is another tool of Hellish trouble– I am no longer confused. heavens hope is there for anyone who may ask for it–Just ask– Jesus will tell you which bathroom to use next time you are at the mall and he will tell you greater mysteries if You welcome Him into your hearts.


During this day I have encountered numerous folks who were wanting to discuss—panic–its effects both physical and spiritual. While listening and sharing from my personal viewpoint, I was encouraged deep in my own heart.
If you have ever succumb to a panic episode or an anxiety attack then you can understand the far reaching negative effects that can prevail. I was reminded of my own journey out of a perpetual state of panic. For years I drugged my anxieties and resorted to sexual exploits that have left me to cope with the status of an HIV diagnosis for over twenty years. My heart was heavy for the person who spoke of their trial and I was reminded of my own season of daily struggles with anxiety. The sum total of my journey and the individual I listened to was that we both could agree that a Fathers blessing was often the missing link to normalcy and peace.
Today I share heavens hope from my personal love connection with Jesus. Today I have been filled with a personal peace that protects my heart and guards my steps.
What I wish to say tonight is this–when you give your heart to Christ for His presence to envelope your entire life; you can expect a ever present peace that hovers and covers you daily. the thought that God is alive within us and around us is so foreign to someone who is in the ties of anxiety. It is possible to be free from the torment of fear–but only through the author of peace.
Life does not exempt us from trials or the pain associated with loss. However- Through Christ it is possible to overcome the forces of despair and even be joy filled while going through those tougher times.It is good to be encouraged–it is better to encourage others.


Depression was a long time friend who would hover over me like an old coat I could not part ways with. But no longer! From the moment I stepped out from darkness and took faith-filled steps into the light of
Christ–my heart has become Merry.
life continues to throw curve balls from time to time and the journey has had its pitfalls–but I can honestly say that the merry joy of Christ has never left me..not ever, not even when I was told i was HIV positive–not even when i first heard my newborn son would have handicaps..
NO there are not blue birds flying aorund my litlle head with stars glowing etc… I mean to say that there is this peace that has surpassed all understanding and because of this heaven-sent peace, my heart brims with a merry joy.
this Joy has replaced the disparaging words of others and my numerous failures at being a sane person in a world that often spins faster than me.
I wish I could develop a better discipline at this writing–perhaps I will.. one word at a time..
If you would like conversation– please respond– MAY THE PEACE OF GOD GUARD YOUR HEART AND MIND IN CHRIST JESUS AMEN! /c


Recently I joined the ranks of other evangelists to speak of Gods love and work from out of my life walk in Him. There were many in attendance and the entire event was one of increased learning for me personally and otherwise, God was revealed in many ways–

The crowd was very diverse and each night had its own variety …

I entered the tenT each night with revered fear of the responsibility to only say what God desired and SPEAK with a great passion to inspire others to embrace god at greAter heights.  Unsure if this is what I had accomplished–

the last night rolled around quick enough– I was the last speaker and truthfully there was little to no time left for me to share-thankfully i was asked to close the meeting and with this opportunity I shared that God was the healer and by his stripes we are healed.

This short statement of faith ignited one little boys heart to step forward and ask if Jesus would and could heal him from an acute allergy and other issues.

With great big brown eyes he l;leaned in closely to ask me if God would and could heal him. I said God would and could!

We then joined before God to pray what gods words say on his behalf.

It was a special moment where a boy turned to God as his only source–his only hope– I saw how little I could do for him–I saw how small I was despite the position i had been afforded by others. At the determining moment in this little boys faith–the blood covering of Christ was the deciding point of difference. The little boy walked away hand and hand with his daddy/father and as he looked back at me I saw in his eyes that he received what the word of God  had said about his infirmity and his memory of me would fade away with each step he took– but the touch of God almighty would compel him from this moment on.

did I mention his daddy was  a pastor?

What a privilege to serve God and see HIS face touch the heart and soul of the wounded.. If only we all would reach out to Jesus through faith as this little boy did– his answers are ahead for the unfolding–today he can live with assurance that God heard him and by his stripes Jesus heals.

How great thou art!


Romans 4;12==For the Word of God is alive….

God is not dead–the word is alive!

Deal with it! accept it! the word of God is alive and cuts darkness in two–it diminishes all darkness.

The word of God also puts folks on one side if truth or the other–the rights of mankind can not and never establish truth beyond the boundaries of Gods word–Gods word is the only say so and the final conclusion.

It is the way and truth and the light


How is it that we have come to suppose that mankind can re-shape what God says, or even ignore what God says through establishing new-found rights within our society?

When was it that mankind’s flesh decided that the right to pursue the lust filled desires of mankind’s flesh were above Gods words?

We live with these questions and more now–we now wait to see the outcome of newly established rights being endorsed among st our society and accepted as the newest normal.

How did a PARTNERSHIP become the re-formed definition of what MARRIAGE is? Perhaps litigation involving divorce is a factor in the delusion of what marriage in GODS SIGHT actually is..

The questions will mark us forever–societal & political choices will determine many shifts in the heavenlies as GOD determines what is next and best for us as a society of compromise against His words.

We stand in His shadow daily–but many think God either approves of our alternative lifestyle choices or we think God is no longer interested in us and our lifestyle choices. Either way–

We changed forever as a country who once was established upon His precepts and followed under one god.

The family is now re-defined and the outcome will be seen over time..perhaps sooner than later.

For me and my household–we will serve the Lord and See Him first, this determiner will have challenges as the words of mankind define the majority..

Hold fast to his words and see Him determine great and mighty things.


When thinking of what and where I would be without faith; the ending is bleak at best. The outcome of no faith is utter darkness.

How queer it is that faith can be obscure when the shadows of trials and troubles creep up. Faith is always there–it is always true–if in fact faith is placed upon the divine word of God and no other source.

All I know is that faith is the thread of hope I find each day I awake–faith that God is still in love with me despite what i did or did not do the previous day. Faith is the stepping stone to anything and fulfillment. Faith is a condition–a standard–an easy breezy manner of living into the promises of heaven.

Faith is the lifeline beyond the cutting short comings of a daily routine in a world that is marred by sin and selfishness. Faith is the great escape!

Through faith I am able to see –I view my life with hope that surpasses doctoral care..and the words of a second grade little girl who said I was a sissy once upon a time. Faith brings me into life beyond the labels that once controlled my thuoghts and every step.

My nights are no longer filled with soiled sheets from faceless lovers–because faith is found within me to reach beyond the trappings of continued self annihilation.

Steal not a mans faith! Touch not a mans faith–faith is the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things unseen.

i praise God for faith in Him that frees me from performance and all that is temporary.

Be encouraged– unleash your faith if not just a mustard seed.. release your faith–it is within each of us–perhaps a little voice of hope–but it is there to be grown into flames of possibility. Grasp Gods intentions for you and SEE.



“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we DO NOT see.”

the bible is so relevant to the day of our times– It has never changed. No matter how much man tries to re-configure its meaning it continues to illuminate life from a divine perceptive.

The media has really turned up the exposure on the occult and its powers. Yes–I said the occult has power. But make no mistake–darkness is limited—it is selfish and inward to its own gain.

The light forces of Christ and HIS heavenly realm is beyond forever and the reaches of faith go past even what we can see.

Case in point–My LIFE and health.



\Faith HAS EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Today I am waiting on the most recent blood tests–Once a year i return to the hospital for blood analysis to determine the diseases advancement or decreases. to date–I have NO side effects and show no harm from the jet fuel drugs I have been taking for over 20 years. The virus is non-detectable and –oh yes– I have a son who is non-HIV and a wife who is negative for the virus. To be sure, the conception of our precious son was NOT through immaculate conception/NO PROTECTION/CONDOMS. God says about my health–He says–By His stripes I am healed!

I wait & rest in Him for the test results as I write–I wait for the words to arrive that say what God says about my health.

The call will come soon from the good doctors–whatever the words–I will rejoice in the comfort of our Lord and continue to tell of His powerful touch upon my life.

My faith sees what he says about my life because I have embraced His fatherly arms around my life style and upon my mindset and throughout all I am. years ago i surrendered to god and His love that he may create me anew man and from this journey i have become a thriving father to a son who is awesome and a faithful husband to a most Godly wife. Yes i will even tell the story to those who would hear it risking ridicule and rejection from the worlds viewpoint.

the world does not see beyond what it can influence–God is all knowing and when he speaks–IT IS SOOOO!

So stay tuned..I was healed from AIDS and all other negative influences when i first asked God to do so in my life–when I first agreed with others in prayer to be healed from disease i was healed– when Jesus bore my pain and suffering on the cross I was healed through his blood shed for me and all.

Today i simply wait for His report to verify what he has already done in my blood and I wait for the manifestation of His healing power to be seen, that others  be encouraged and determine His touch within their own lives.

today I wait– Today I rest in His provision.

He love us so much


Whats on my mind? Whatever lies ahead! Faith sees!

The dilemma I face, you may as well; is that the past is never very far away. The scripture in Isaiah 43: 18 says, “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. 19- See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? for years I have enjoyed these verses as they have welcomed me to turn away from what once was and look ahead to what will be–according to my heavenly Fathers plans and not my own.

Daily I speak of God and His touch upon my life with continued fervor. The past has become a mere reflection of the way I have come over the years gone by. Once upon a time my life was entrenched within the homosexual community and with this lifestyle came all the extras, including drug use. Additional; behaviors included extreme promiscuity and a long wake of lives turned upside down from lie after lie.

The past for me suggests failures and turmoils within and without. today my life reflects and peaceful completion through the power of Jesus and the Holy Spirit–some folks say this is impossible and they could be right if it had not been for my acceptance of His grace. You can do all things through Christ Jesus!

Now I live as a heterosexual man happily married to Godly woman–28 yrs. and father to a son of 25 years.

When scripture says we should forget the former things–it means much more than casting down one thought. It is telling us to dwell within His words about us and to join Christ in an intimate journey leaving behind the things we once turned to for significance and were once established in. Before Christ my story was one of reckless choices. Now i follow his pathway.

The past is ever present when I go to speak before crowds of His grace filled acceptance. the past is there in my reflections of where I have come from but it is not the way I continue to go.

My faith sees–it sees the things that are not yet and my faith grasps the words of God over my life and lives of my loved ones. It is by grace I am saved and through faith I am enabled to journey out from a torrid past.

To forget the past is to dwell in his arms today and forever. You give up the one for another. The past can not be redone–there are no do overs. You can however become all He has promised today and the future can be bright full of heavens hope.

I tell this story whenever i can but I live a day at a time seeking more of His presence and the past is forgotten. The abuse I experienced growing up and the abuse I inflicted upon others is behind me now–so today I choose again and again to trust Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.

The world is changing around my life and it tries to tell me that the past is now an acceptable way of living, but the word of God does not agree. So now I find  myself on the side of life giving grace and a life filled with more controversies. The world will judge one way–but the word tells another story. My story is what God intended from the first and while it may flag in the face of liberals/ non-believers or others– it is true.

I am made whole– I am redeemed and he desires to set free those who would turn their hearts towards  Him and forget the past–see He springs up a new thing!  oh yeah- you can not perceive it..

Choice life– choice Christ! he is drug free!