Hello world-as is typical of human nature, plans and hopes are sometimes limited to the immediate demands of the day ahead when God has spoken over us individually and desires to reveal His plans into our hearts if only we pause and recognized his presence.
Today I am mindful of His amazing work throughout my life these past years and am hopeful for what lies ahead. still— I anticipate His heavenly realm and what is beyond my minds grasp here on earth.
Once upon a season–long ago–I danced the nights away and lay with strangers plotting my next move to gain advantage and climb a ladder of progressively demeaning and dark behaviors. My life was a cycle of realized fantasy after fantasy always ending in regret and compiling shame.
Today i hit the floor in hope-in happiness- in love with one woman and anxious to rap my arms around an amazing son. The days stream into one God moment after another–and while trials are present and valley’s exist I am filled with satisfaction and a contentment never found prior to this Jesus love affair.
The drugs and drinking are all gone–the deviant sexual encounters are gone- the bitterness towards family and broken dreams are gone–it is a life that is full of compassion for others and hope. While i am along way from perfect I am perfected through the eyes of Christ so i have no more need to wonder aimlessly.
Gods plans are amazing scripts of untold blessings and they unfold one at a time or drown us in drenching favor. For me to have come thus far, despite the odds against me is nothing short of miraculous –yet God is all knowing and had me in His palm all along. He never feared tomorrow and He never looses sleep over the outcome of anything.
Yesterday I got my eyes checked by a new eye Dr. he was really kind and professional. As the good doctor took me through, the general examination he spoke of his unborn baby and his hope for his tomorrows as a new father. When he made inquiry of my fatherhood experience I inventoried my many personal milestones with my own son and found myself pointing His upwards to an unseen father who loves from within the heart of any who will ask him inside to dwell.
He listened intently or politely-and our cultural differences began to surface as i spoke of heavenly hope and how this hope has broadened my ability to Father a son with special needs. My attempt to share Jesus seemed to fall short until he asked how I could know God is alive when miracles never seem to happen anymore.
So out came my personal eye healing story.. this story lingers in my history with my lord and while I do not tell it often or at all– I blurted it out as if it had just happened the day before. The eye doctors head was spinning with questions but he clung to his traditional viewpoints despite my account of the impossible healing that occurred in my eyes years ago.
He was generous with his time and even though we did not have prayer or any other exchange than my tale of healing–I saw that this appointment was more than happenstance and once again the presence of God years ago played a role in today’s events-in both our lives–the unbeliever and the believer-I ponder how heaven waits for us who love Him with open arms while we scramble through our daily lives sometimes not pausing to remember there is the beyond and the yesterdays are what reflects either him in us or Us in the world without Him.
Today i will share with you the story of my healing to my eyes and know full well that some will say–“no way” but remember that with God all things are possible.
app. 20 years ago I went for a –normal eye examination –during the examine a photo of my retina revealed what appeared to the start of CMV retinaitus–the doctor freaked and i was quickly sequestered into a room with out contact to the staff. It was the beginning of aids awareness and there was climate of fear and horror that surrounded the virus throughout communities all over. The doctor demanded I see a specialist and a lawyer so that i could prepare for the worst and get my affairs in order.
My wife and I determined we would get another opinion and we did go to the HIV doctor for the first time right away–he also saw the photo of my retina and wanted to put me directly in the hospital for and IV treatment that would last one week and possibly fry my organs .. he also directed me to obtain a lawyer to get my affairs in order and he suggested I could pass away within three months. Remember—-this is all based upon one photo shot of my retina.
That’s how life is in the world–the world sees things through a narrow perceptive and feelings often are the lens.
We opted to go 700 miles to a specialist–when arriving at the specialist office at nearly mid-night in Miami Fla. We were told she had left for her vacation and would not return for three weeks. It was a learning institute for eye care and while we waited for the doctor to arrive many students poked and prodded my eyes afflicting me with extreme discomfort.
This is the trial time–dis-comfort often causes us to flee or avoid.. i saw no option and my wife and battled terror and fear as each student wrote their findings in their journals and spoke languages we could not understand.
As the nurse informed us of the doctors absence we could not imagine worse news–then suddenly the doctor appeared in the doorway–she had forgotten her plane tickets and returned for them only to find out that I was in her examination room. thank the Lord!
She examined me again–it was torture! anyway she decided she had never seen such an anomaly and without knowing what to do for treatment she prescribed an antiviral drug that could fry my organs in hours or may do something positive. She required me to stay in contact with the doctor daily and report any changes as I would have to go by ambulance asap if a rash occurred. This seemed dismal at best. She was a world leading eye Doctor who wrote books about eye care–she had never seen anything like this and was not certain it was even what the other doctors had suggested.
I took the meds she prescribed–the local specialist was calling daily with concern and he was extremely gloomy and foreboding. After three weeks of related examinations– the Miami Dr. concurred that the anomaly was gone and she could not explain it.In fact she described the healing as a miraculous un-explainable occurrence. Her students had more questions that answers LOL.
Thus began my first relationship with an HIV Dr. and I will speak of this in other blogs.
I have written this brief account that the reader can witness that miracles do exists and through prayer all things are possible. My eyes are awesome! There is no blindness as predicted and I never visited a lawyer except for Jesus who judges all.
The fervent prayers of fellow believers brought about the stories ending and I believe I was spared that I could be here this day to tell of it.
This event was one of many but it has a twist– while waiting on God to do as He promised on our behalf–I had to GO through it– my wife and I clung to each other and we clung to His promises–there was nothing our feelings could do for us–nothing the pastor could do–the doctors were limited at best– the out come would all be from god. We learned to depend on him and because of this we were better equipped for trial ahead–and many more blessings to come.
Remember–God sees beyond where we are–he knows what is ahead–he has promises for each of us.. He sees us beautiful.
Through Jesus He heals today and heals forever–when my time for heaven comes i will be glad of it –in the meanwhile i seek Him as if today were my last! Embrace God Life!
His plans are for us! He love us –you.